Sole Mates

Since I’ve been pretty lame so far this year, I decided to blog about my friend. A friend of mine who shall remain nameless took it upon herself to post this on craigslist when she found her boyfriend’s sock at her place:

Lone sock, looking for my sole mate. I like taking long walks in the park, and going for the occasional freewheeling spin in the dryer. Sometimes love stinks, but if you think we’d make a good pair, call me. If you’re tall, dark, and spotted, then you’re a shoe-in.

Now, I think that’s funny, and pretty cute. Apparently so did a bunch of other folks and so she’s replied numerous replies to her ad. For example:

[Subject: I used to be Black but the colour faded in the washing machine… ]
So now I am white.. 29 years old and looking for a friend and a “Sole Mate” I am crazy, I am insane but you can’t blame me for that because I am an I.T. Specialist
whom supports users on a daily basis so… I am losing my sanity every now and then I start cooking…
Yep… Cooking helps me calm down..

Wanna hear more about me? Drop me a line and we will take it from there.

KrAzy Jay[ed: this one also had a picture of a white sock puppet.]

There are also the kinda sweet ones like:

I’m responding to thank you for making me laugh! I still can’t get the grin off my face! LMAFO Fantastically creative with a puch!
I’m probably way too old for your taste (48) and don’t worry about it. I’m a big boy and I haven’t stalked anybody since Kindergarten. Following is an imaginary post in exchange for the funny enteraining laugh you brought my way. No response required unless you want to.
Subject: Looking for a Button. If you are cute and round, I’d like to meet you.
If you are colourful and hold your end of things, even better.
If you lose your grip sometimes and bounce around in the dryer, well I understand, so do I.
If your best friends are in bottles, I congratulate you for staying out of one yourself.
If you can fill this gap in my life () you will hold me together.
If you can sew yourself into the weave of my life, then I will finally be able to button up and stay warm.

The plain creepy funny ones [Edit: This email actually had a picture attached to it — a pair of the same socks. So on second thought it’s not really creepy]:

This may seem a tad forward, but have you ever considered a three-way?

The poetic ones:

[Subject: Love is good for the sole]
A perfectly ordinary day it was, and now here you are.

Those days, how I remember. Which was you, and which was me? I forget…

The walks in the park, our perfect synchrony. And how the static crackled between us in the dryer – how could we ever be apart?

You who are my equal, my exact measure, return to me, that the tips of our toes might touch again…

And of course the stupid ones:

….yuck!!! Wash that damn sock, I could smell it through my computer screen 😛

I think the boyfriend better keep a better eye on his socks next time

One Response to “Sole Mates”

  1. Gil Says:

    That was awesome.

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